chasing answers newsletter #48

Not even news

Apr 03, 2023

“If guns don’t kill people, why do we give people guns when they go to war? Why not just send the people?” - Ozzy Osbourne

Happy Sunday!

Every time I sit down to write this newsletter, I wonder if it will be the week I go too far. Say something too offensive. And get emails from half of my readers telling me they’re unsubscribing.

It hasn’t happened yet. But stick around. This may be the week.

Not Even News

Unfortunately, this really doesn’t qualify as news anymore since it has happened, on average, more than four times a month so far this year, or thirteen times in total.

It’s also happened 157 times since 2018.

And according to worldpopulationreview.com, between 2009 and 2018, the United States led the entire rest of the world in this category by a staggering 288 to 40.

So what is it that we have gotten so good at here in the good ole U. S. of A. that no other country can touch us?

If you guessed school shootings, you nailed it.

We’re better at allowing innocent kids to get murdered while getting an education than any other country in the world.

Scratch that.

We’re better at it than the entire rest of the world combined.

But, fuck it, at least we’ve got freedom, right??

This week, three students and three school employees died in a shooting at The Covenant School in Nashville, Tennessee.

And you would think, after racking up thirteen school shootings in less than three months and 157 in just over five years, that politicians would be scrambling to fix what has become an epidemic.

You would think.

Instead, the topic of conversation two days later during a House committee was pissing in public.

That’s right. Representative Lauren Boebert spent a few quality minutes grilling Washington D.C. City Council Member Charles Allen on his supposed efforts to decriminalize public urination. (By the way, those efforts didn’t really exist.)

I can’t make this shit up.

Our political system in the United States has become a caricature of itself. It’s as if Judd Apatow made a comedy about the shortcomings of a country’s politics, and then in some cruel twist of fate, we all woke up one day, and the script had become real life.

To support that theory, we all got to see Tennessee Congressman Andy Ogles’ family Christmas photo from 2021.

In case there was any confusion around whether or not it’s possible to be an incompetent leader and a complete asshole at the same time……………case closed.

They must’ve run out of guns for the little guy, so he got stuck with the most dangerous weapon of all…….a book. That one must not have made the banned book list at the time of the photo.

Congressman Ogles represents Tennessee’s 5th congressional district, which is where The Covenant School is located. And while he’s made it clear he’s not concerned with innocent kids dying, I think something a little more subtle for this year’s Christmas photo may be appropriate. Maybe matching family sweaters that read “We support SIDS” will do it.

Seriously though, what exactly has to happen to get people to wake up and realize something has to be done? I can’t imagine how furious I would be as a parent if it were my daughter in one of those body bags.

Personally, I’m tired of the two most common arguments I hear from opponents of stricter gun laws. They are, in order:

The Second Amendment
It’s not the guns. It’s the people.

For those of you who haven’t read the second amendment for a while, here it is.

“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

Let’s forget about arguing over what a “well regulated militia” is. Is it an informal assembly of armed citizens, or is it something similar to today’s National Guard, an organized force trained and equipped by the government?

Fuck it. Who cares? Let’s just change the goddamn thing.

Honestly, I’ve heard detailed legal arguments supporting both sides that are pretty convincing in their own ways. But does it matter? It was written nearly 232 years ago. It is ridiculous to think we can continue to change as a society with technology advancing as fast as it is and not have to adjust how we think about our laws. Isn’t it worth changing if it prevents even one child from being murdered?

The other argument, the “it’s not the guns that kill people” bullshit, is what I have no patience for. It’s the most asinine argument I’ve ever heard. I touched on this when I wrote about our gun problem after the Uvalde, Texas, school shooting.

The people who say this also say shit like, “people die in automobile accidents, but we don’t ban cars.”

GODDAMN. IT.

That’s true, but it’s illegal to drive a NASCAR car down the highway. And we restrict who can drive on our roadways, how fast they can go, and what safety features the vehicles must have. Not to mention the insurance drivers must carry to be allowed on the roads legally.

If we could count on everyone to always do the safe, responsible thing, none of those laws would need to exist.

Those are the types of gun laws that people like me are begging for. I’m not advocating for some ridiculous gun ban that prevents everyone from owning any firearm. As I have written in the past, I own guns. But the fact that I don’t have to prove in some measurable way that I should own them is bullshit.

And many states are going in the opposite direction, easing gun laws and making it easier to obtain firearms and carry them in public.

I’m trusting the statistics here. The U.S. has more guns per person than any country in the world. We have more mass shootings and school shootings than any country in the world. We have to do something. This should be at the top of every politician's list. At the federal, state, and local levels.

This is what everyone should be worried about. Not whether or not I’m pissing outside.